Hello? Is this thing on?

So yesterday was a big day. I officially launched the My Plot Twist Life Instagram and Facebook pages!  Now, before you wonder why that's such a big deal, let me give you a little background.

I've been writing blog posts for almost a year, and I started building the website several months ago. Bit by bit, I've been creating this whole little world of mine, and until yesterday, I hadn't shown it to anyone. In fact, I hadn't even mentioned it to anyone.

For the most part, it's been my own private little therapy sessions. Writing gives me a place to get my thoughts out of my head, put them into words, and try to make sense of them. Sometimes I discover things about myself I hadn't even realized I was thinking. Other times, I just get to laugh at how ridiculous my brain can be.

Then there's the website. That's been a completely different kind of therapy. I get to be creative, play with colors and images, change my mind a hundred times, and make something simply because I like it. No clients to please, no one else's opinions to consider, and no worrying about whether anyone else thinks it looks good. It's just mine.

I've loved having both of those things, and I've especially loved the idea that someday all of this would become something real. But lately, I've had this nagging feeling that maybe someday had finally arrived. It was time to stop keeping it all to myself and actually put it out into the world.

Of course, I've been ignoring that feeling for weeks. But yesterday, I finally decided to start small. I'd create an Instagram and Facebook page and start sharing some images with quotes. I wasn't quite ready to put my actual blog posts out there yet, thank you very much, but a few quotes? That seemed manageable.

It sounded simple enough, except the thought of actually letting people see any of it was terrifying! But I did it. I hit publish on that first post, practically holding my breath the whole time. Today, I even made another one. I still haven't told anyone I know about any of this, which is probably a whole other blog post in itself.

But here's the funny part. Even though I was terrified of people seeing it, some part of me apparently expected complete strangers to stumble across my little corner of the internet and immediately love it as much as I do. I mean, I'd spent almost a year working on this. Surely the internet would recognize that and respond accordingly.

Except something funny happened. Nobody gave me one of those oh-so-wonderful little thumbs up. Nobody shared anything. Nobody commented. Honestly, I'm not even sure anyone saw the posts at all.

Now, you might be thinking, Well, maybe you should tell your family and friends. You have to start somewhere! Yes, yes, I know. I'm getting to that revelation, too. But apparently, I was hoping to become an overnight internet sensation without actually telling anyone I know that this all existed.

But then I remembered something my great life teacher, Berta, has said many times. You do something because it's what's in front of you to do, not because of what you hope to get out of it. Now, I'm sure she said it much more eloquently than that, but you get the idea. You don't do something because you're expecting a particular outcome. You do it because it's something you feel called to do, and then you let go of what happens next.

Which is a lovely philosophy, right up until you're sitting there checking Instagram to see if a complete stranger has given you a thumbs up.

So I finally pulled myself out of my little woe-is-me moment, where I had me ready to give up on almost a year's worth of work because nobody noticed it in the first 24 hours. Seriously, what was I thinking?

Then I thought, who cares if nobody sees it? I've spent almost a year writing and creating without anyone knowing about it, and I've loved every minute of it. Why should that suddenly change just because I decided to share it?

So I'm going to keep writing. I'm going to keep creating and  I'm going to keep posting, whether anyone is paying attention or not. Because the truth is, I really love doing this. Somewhere in the last 24 hours, I think I forgot that was the whole point.

Maybe someday people will find their way to my little corner of the internet. Maybe something I write will make someone laugh, think, or feel a little less alone. I'd love that. But I don't want to lose the joy of doing something I love while waiting for someone else to tell me it's worth doing.

Also, if I can work up the courage, I'll even tell a few people I know about it. Apparently, sharing my deepest thoughts with complete strangers on the internet is fine, but telling a friend I started a blog? Whoa, let's not get carried away.

Plot twist: I spent almost a year happily creating something nobody knew about, then nearly let 24 hours of nobody noticing make me question the whole thing.